About Dr. Shelly & Working Together
Parents come to me ready to do something different, whether they are just starting to notice a pattern or have been navigating one for years.
My role is to help parents step out of reactivity and into steadier, more effective leadership, especially when a child is anxious, rigid, or emotionally overwhelmed. I focus on what actually changes behavior under stress and how small but intentional shifts in parental response can alter the entire system.
My background
I have spent over 20 years trying to understand one thing: what actually happens inside families when stress takes over, and what it takes to change it.
I am a licensed clinical psychologist and Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA). I founded a behavioral health company because growing up, my sibling needed services that did not exist. I built that company from the ground up, ran it for over a decade, and learned more about what families actually need than any training program could have taught me. That experience shaped everything about how I work today.
I see patterns quickly. I hold the big picture and the smallest detail at the same time. I do not give up on complexity and I do not give up on families that others have found hard to help. Where someone else might see a defiant kid or an anxious teen, I see a nervous system under pressure, a family system doing its best with the tools it has, and usually a very clear place to start.
My work is grounded in neuroscience and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It is also grounded in twenty years of sitting with families in their hardest moments and refusing to stop looking for what might actually help.
I co-own Thought Partners, a group psychotherapy practice in Marin, and hold my Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology from the Wright Institute in Berkeley.
When I am not working you can find me hiking, traveling with my family, and looking for small moments of joy wherever they show up.
How I work with families
My approach is structured, direct, and grounded.
I pay close attention to how patterns show up in real time, particularly during moments of escalation, shutdown, or anxiety. Together, we slow those moments down, identify what is driving them, and build responses that parents can actually use when emotions run high.
Working together often involves:
Identifying the interaction loops that keep repeating
Understanding behavior under stress rather than debating intent
Aligning caregivers around a consistent approach
Practicing responses that support steadier leadership and repair
I have extensive experience working with neurodivergent children and teens, including ADHD and autism, and help parents adjust expectations and responses in ways that reduce overload rather than intensify it.
This work is not about perfection or rigid parenting strategies. It is about predictability, follow-through, and reducing the intensity of daily interactions so families can function with less strain.
Why this work matters to me
I have never been interested in surface-level change. I want families to feel genuinely different at home, not just armed with a new script.
What keeps me in this work is what I see happen when a parent stops reacting and starts leading. When a teen realizes anxiety is not in charge. When a family that felt stuck finds a rhythm that actually works. Those shifts are real and they last.
That is what I am here to help build.
Working together
I work best with parents who are motivated, open to examining their own responses, and willing to practice new approaches even when it feels uncomfortable at first. This work requires participation and follow-through, but it is designed to be contained, practical, and respectful of your time and energy.
If you are wondering whether working together would be a good fit, the first step is a brief consult.